tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70725962135628966772024-02-02T16:22:31.820-05:00Caffeine & Hot Sauce!They make my world go 'round.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-18924019315686125022013-09-14T14:12:00.003-04:002013-09-14T14:15:05.661-04:00The Blessings of SufferingIt has been a long time.<br />
<br />
That's often the case for me, as my numerous obligations don't often leave me time for the blogging pursuit. It has been so long, in fact, that I have not posted here in over a year. But, thanks to a somewhat random injury, it looks like I have a little free time.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
This is for those who have not caught the random Facebook posts I have made this week, or perhaps who are looking for a little more detail on what happened.<br />
<br />
The short story is I wound up with a severely ruptured disc between the numbers five and six cervical vertebra. "Cervical" vertebra are the ones in your neck; they are numbered one through seven, with the seventh being the very large bump you can usually feel along your spine at the very base of your neck. The two surrounding my injured disc are short-handed to C5 and C6, medically speaking.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUYReFNFOtPnkoqX9ZooeqOZDKRcGeoScoA11eMtjmZCi26ZYrLcz74stEpphSfXpTLlgeaoPCxtn_7L3hhi8W4jHe7yemrTNYUy-KLMEFfgVkxJCL1Y9FU6a7BuML8opTcbCNme-zkEg/s1600/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUYReFNFOtPnkoqX9ZooeqOZDKRcGeoScoA11eMtjmZCi26ZYrLcz74stEpphSfXpTLlgeaoPCxtn_7L3hhi8W4jHe7yemrTNYUy-KLMEFfgVkxJCL1Y9FU6a7BuML8opTcbCNme-zkEg/s200/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc.PNG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My chiropractor, who is also a good<br />
friend, referred to this as "the biggest<br />
[vol]cano of a rupture" he has ever seen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As you can see in the image to the left, the disc ruptured posteriorly (backward), which is the most common way for cervical discs to rupture because of the generally backward curve or bend of the neck. The rupture usually occurs at the point where there is the most pressure on the disc.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Warning - Scientific Content!</b>: a vertebral disc consists of two main parts: the nucleus pulposus, which is the jelly-like material in the center of the disc that basically dissipates the shock constantly absorbed by each disc. Vertebral discs provide two functions: shock absorption, and flexibility in an otherwise rigid structure (your spine). The other part of the disc is the annulus fibrosus, a fibrous component that provides most of the structure of the disc. To compare a disc to something, consider the shock assembly of a car: the nucleus pulposus is the shock absorber itself, and the annulus fibrosus is the spring that provides rigidity and "return" -- the ability for the disc to return to its normal shape.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
There are two key parts to see in this first image. The first is the primary bulge, which is pushing directly back against the spinal cord. The white area in the cord is spinal fluid, and the darkish area is the nurve bundle. You can see that there is a mild impingement on the nerves; however, there is still a small amount of white showing on the opposing side, which indicates that there is little to no pain caused by this impingement.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ11bb54gzXq9iz77d1wy3EGtbvzq-8RiswOQ7RqTPjrUkJbfVqlzv1WFF84uP8onyuT4693OVjRI2TydjeqNsfkOQsXfwzw-q5uBVK1oXga6vwtjrCoUI1mYLrEwsxxAE_4rDQNjCytc/s1600/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc2.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ11bb54gzXq9iz77d1wy3EGtbvzq-8RiswOQ7RqTPjrUkJbfVqlzv1WFF84uP8onyuT4693OVjRI2TydjeqNsfkOQsXfwzw-q5uBVK1oXga6vwtjrCoUI1mYLrEwsxxAE_4rDQNjCytc/s200/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc2.PNG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you've ever seen the original movie<br />
(not the remake) of <i>The Blob</i>, you can<br />
think of this image as representing the<br />
bowling alley scene.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
However, if you look at this second image, to the right, you can see that the rupture was not centered, but rather to the left (this image is looking upward through my body, as if the perspective was from my feet looking toward my head, which is why right is left in the image). This indicates that the impingement ("pinching") is directly on the "nerve root" -- the nerve that branches out from the spinal column between the C5 and C6 vertebra. That was indicated even without looking at the MRI images because I have extreme pain and weakness in my trapezius and my left deltoid, which are both controlled by that nerve. This image shows the slight movement of the entire nerve bundle, but clearly shows that it is completely covering up the nerve root. That is the cause of about ninety percent of the pain I feel.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzdUw-1SE_ZdgMwESX62G54npy_E8TBylM46JWlp7QVLa5e5ggguTwI4JQzko9-1ILdmc0k3TgmzSJZxoho4HRW3dbOHCwIJ-eX_B1J3zrsuGtdA1WOzNaacAZBNLfj5G4nCZP36Wan8/s1600/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc3.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPzdUw-1SE_ZdgMwESX62G54npy_E8TBylM46JWlp7QVLa5e5ggguTwI4JQzko9-1ILdmc0k3TgmzSJZxoho4HRW3dbOHCwIJ-eX_B1J3zrsuGtdA1WOzNaacAZBNLfj5G4nCZP36Wan8/s200/Mike_Neck_HerniatedDisc3.PNG" width="200" /></a>The final image, to the left, indicates a shadow on the disc. This image is looking head-on at me, which is, again, why left is right.The shadow is a clear indication of the lateral location of the rupture, showing that it is entirely off-center and is pushing toward the nerve root, further corroborating the other evidence. You can also see a considerably larger white "blob" of skin and fluid building up on the left (right) side as compared to the right (left) side. That is a large amount of swelling occurring along the path of the nerve through my neck and shoulder area, indicating a great deal of inflammation resulting from the rupture.<br />
<br />
I have dealt with this sort of image ever since August of 2000, when a motion similar to that of throwing a football, but without a complete follow-through (i.e., a sudden stop) resulted in an audible "pop" in my neck that had me down for the count for several days. Over the last 13 years, I have probably had the injury recur 15 or more times. The diagnosis ultimately had become a possible sprain of one of the many ligaments that stabilize the neck. The pain would subside in three days to three weeks.<br />
<br />
Now, it has become obvious that it was much more likely a very small rupture that would heal itself over time. This time, however benign the beginning may have been (literally, I stopped typing at my desk at work to rub itchy eyes, and that set it off; it then got dramatically worse the next day for no particular reason), the end result has been a worst-case scenario that landed me in the ER less than 48 hours after the first symptom, a first for a chronic injury. But this is where the story becomes a testimony to the power and grace of God.<br />
<br />
First of all, I left early from work Monday because of the pain, wanting to lay down to remove the weight of my head from my neck. I slept for five hours that afternoon, but it didn't really do much. Tuesday was also an early departure from work to get to the chiropractor as soon as possible, after the pain went from about a four to a seventeen on a scale of one to ten, in a matter of about 10 minutes. The chiropractor squeezed me into his schedule as an emergency case, and allowed me to stay and rest in one of the back rooms for about 15 minutes. I actually went into mild shock in that time because of the pain. From there, we went to my primary physician at the chiropractor's request to get a prednisone taper pack, trying to use steroids to limit swelling and increate my body's natural ability to heal. That racing around allowed me to stubbornly make a very important meeting at church to finalize things for the Men's Ministry's annual study, which I am supposed to lead each week.<br />
<br />
That night, I fought through, sleeping in no more than two-hour bursts as I had the night prior, as well. I needed help to sit up in bed, to lay down, to walk -- basically, to do anything. So I decided about four o'clock a.m. that I would go the the emergency room in the morning, once Kaylee was off to school.<br />
<br />
The staff at the ER, who were almost universally fantastic, wound up ordering and performing the MRI, which revealed the issue. They consulted with a local neurology clinic, the Raleigh Neurosurgical Clinic, led by a Dr. Allen. He indicated that <i>emergency</i> surgery was not indicated, but that a followup would be needed immediately to determine the next step.<br />
<br />
Roughly twenty-four hours after the ER visit, Christina went to her weekly Community Bible Study<br />
at our church, Crossroads Fellowship. It was there that a new woman showed up and joined her group. When they discussed prayer requests at the end of the meeting, Christina noted my situation while the new lady looked on, interested in what was being said. She then related that her husband, a Dr. Russ Margraf, works at the same clinic that the ER consulted, and that he had related a case to her that apparently stood out enough that he shared the details later that night. The case was eerily reminiscent of the details of my case, leading the lady to believe that it was her husband, and not Dr. Allen, who had consulted with the ER. She made a phone call, and we suddenly had an unexpectedly quick, 2:30 p.m. appointment for later that day.<br />
<br />
Let me say here that Dr. Margraf has one of the best demeanors I have personally experienced, and I have seen a <i>lot</i> of doctors in my life. He reviewed the MRI images and immediately felt that no amount of physical therapy would result in a full recovery. He gave all the details, including that the pain would most likely subside with PT, but that the duration during which there would be pressure on the nerve root would likely result in permanent weakening of my left arm. However, he never pressured us into making a decision.<br />
<br />
From there, we drove about five minutes for a quick consult with my chiropractor. He is generally adamantly opposed to surgery except in emergency situations (i.e., broken bones, etc.). However, he stated that his best prognosis through chiropractic care would be about a fifty percent chance of full recovery after no less than six months of therapy. In the end he, too, recommended surgery. Quick prayers on the way home revealed to us that we were both at peace with surgery, and we opted for this coming Tuesday morning.<br />
<br />
God smiled one more time on me, though.<br />
<br />
I got a call yesterday informing me that a Monday slot had just come open, cutting by one more day the amount of time I would need to suffer with my current pain. Praise God! (I would praise him regardless, of course.)<br />
<br />
The prognosis is that the pain in my shoulder and arm would subside immediately after surgery, and that the remaining pain would be in the area of the incision and internally where things would be moved out of the way. I will have minimal activity for three weeks and a five-pound weight limit. After three weeks, I will be allowed moderate activity and a return to work, with a fifteen- to twenty-pound limit. After a total of twelve weeks from surgery, I will be clear to return to normal.<br />
<br />
Detailing the procedure: an incision will be made in my neck, next to my esophagus. The muscles and esophagus will then be retracted out of the way, giving clear access to the discs and the vertical vertebral surfaces. The damaged disc will be removed in pieces and replaced with an artificial material. A titanium plate will be attached to the anterior (front) surface of the C5 and C6 vertebra, using two screws in each. The incision will be closed, and all will be done. Afterward, I will have normal incision discomfort and a sore throat for two to five days from retraction, meaning softer foods for a little while. That means I will be eating mashed potatoes, jell-o and a lot of milkshakes.<br />
<br />
Oh, darn.<br />
<br />
I will be out of work for three weeks. That means I will lose the remaining eight days of vacation I have available, and will need to dip into short-disability. We can handle it, because God has blessed us and I believe He will continue to do so. My faith is in Him, and I hope that this testimony shows the clear hand of God in such a way that the objective person cannot deny it. That is why I felt the need to share it here.<br />
<br />
Thank you, everyone who has offered and/or given assistance. We are blessed to have been surrounded by such loving, caring people.<br />
<br />
And we are blessed in every other way, too. He is good, all the time!<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-39239755535007849872012-08-10T13:29:00.004-04:002012-08-10T13:29:50.922-04:00De pain! De pain!Allow me to rant for a moment. Not because I am incensed about something, but rather because it distracts me from the pain. And, yes, even talking <i>about</i> my pain distracts me a bit from my pain.<br />
<br />
Most of you are aware that I've had a herniated disc since around September of 2008. Most of you also are aware that I have managed, in most cases, to push through that pain and still do most of the things I had done in the past, with obvious exceptions like playing roller hockey or running -- which was the activity that caused the problem in the first place.<br />
<br />
Well, something changed. Something is suddenly different. After more than two years of improving or, at the very least, maintaining a steady level of discomfort, I feel like I fell off a cliff about a week ago.<br />
<br />
I had been doing yard work last weekend. I've been doing it all spring and summer, and while I know the evening will be pretty uncomfortable, I've done it well. I could usually wake the next morning with at least tolerable levels of pain.<br />
<br />
It started with a pinched nerve in my neck. While looking down to see if I had missed any weeds, I felt pain suddenly shoot down my left arm. So either I pinched a nerve, or this has been the most drawn-out heart attack in the history of mankind.<br />
<br />
So, I've dealt with pain and weakness in my arm most of the week. That's now almost gone. But that was never really the big problem.<br />
<br />
If you were to look at my MRI from March of 2009, and you adjusted the contrast so the nucleus of the disc between the L5 vertebrae and the sacrum was visible, you would see that it had herniated outward into the disc's containing tissue. It's the literal definition of a herniated disc, and it's the worst place for one, for the simple reason that it is the lowest weight-bearing disc in your spine (the vertebra from there down are all fused in adults into the sacrum, so the discs bear no weight). To make matters worse, the constant pounding of my feet on pavement, grass -- whatever I ran on in the preceding 28 years before the herniation occurred -- slowly rotated my pelvis so that, rather than forming a nice, steady curve, my spine now is in the shape of a capital "L". That, in turn, is putting pressure on the nerves of my legs -- primarily my sciatic nerve -- causing constant, radiating pain from my waist on down.<br />
<br />
So, that's the injury in a nutshell. And, for some reason, it is now worse to the point that my subtle limp from years of injuries to my left knee is now a highly pronounced one. And, thanks to the "mobile" pressure (the location and degree of pressure varies) on <i>both</i> sciatic nerves, the limp can occur on either leg or on both. Add in the fallen arches and I have a painful, awkward gait. I'm surprised I do not get followed around by baby ducklings who think I am their father.<br />
<br />
I have an MRI scheduled for next Wednesday morning, the day after my birthday. Hopefully we find something out then and can attack it, because I am struggling to find the joy in my suffering, as the Bible tells us to do. So, please keep me in your prayers.<br />
<br />
Okay, ran't over. Get back to work.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-4528009523501776602012-07-12T16:07:00.004-04:002012-07-12T17:27:21.956-04:00The Lost Dignity of the Elderly<div>Go to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=429417820419223&set=a.394548853906120.105696.100000530267428&type=1&ref=nf">this link on Facebook</a>, then come back and let me vent for a moment.<br />
<br />
Let me have a few seconds of your life to discuss the treatment of the elderly today. Unless, of course, you have a parent who you need to shuttle off to a nursing home or something?<br />
<br />
See, our fast-paced lives rarely make room for those who are getting along in their years. Oftentimes they are treated not even as second-class citizens, but rather as pets or nuisances who we can discard to "a farm upstate" when they become a "burden" to us.<br />
<br />
Do you realize just how horridly wrong that is?<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Okay, I admit that the story of the photo in the link I posted is not one of someone being shoved into hospice, but rather of a woman who has chosen to check herself into it -- maybe at a doctor's recommendation, or maybe because she just realized she needs help. We don't get that side of the tale. But we do get the heartwarming story of someone who went out of his way to do exactly the opposite of what I am railing about today: he gave up his time to bring some joy to who I can only imagine is/was a lovely, warm-spirited old Belle of a lady who, at that moment, was basically saying goodbye to the world in which she had made her life.<br />
<br />
What kills me is that this story is the <i>exception</i> to the rule. And I am as guilty as anyone else. Maybe worse than the average Joe, even.<br />
<br />
I spent last weekend with my grandparents in Pennsylvania as the second of four separate legs of a two-week trip through our family in the northeast. My grandfather, who has Parkinson's Disease, has been steadily making his way downhill over the majority of the last decade. It has been hard on me, and the rest of the family, to watch the Patriarch of the Soho (Slovak) side of my family -- a man who slaved, who worked himself ragged, for fifty years to raise and sustain his family in a region that is, in no way, kind to its people. Between harsh winters and a lifestyle that time long ago passed by, that area of the southwestern Pennsylvania coal belt is simply brutal to its residents.<br />
<br />
Yes, he has made his share of mistakes along the way. Certainly, there are people who have disagreed with him and who have been turned off by a man who has held firm to his beliefs all these years and who could be downright indignant at times. But he spent his life going out of his way to help people, and he made things a lot easier on his grandchildren than they ever should have been in a town that has floated in poverty and squalor since long before I was born.<br />
<br />
And even though I've watched his health decline to the point where walking is a chore to be undertaken as little as possible and his voice is barely more than a whisper on his best of days, I've mostly been too busy to stop and talk to him. Partly it's due to his voice and my slightly declining hearing combining to make conversation difficult; but, mostly, it's because I have "better" things to do or I can't figure out what to say.<br />
<br />
Last weekend, I figured out what to say: "Tell me <i>anything</i>, because I love you, you deserve to be heard, and you have commanded my respect from decades of teaching me through your words and your actions."<br />
<br />
We fail to realize that our older people -- be they family, friends, co-workers or the sweet old lady who, by nothing short of the miraculous hand of God, got into our cab and asked us to drive them <i>anywhere</i> -- hold in their hearts and minds an unfathomable collection of lessons and experiences that could make our own lives so much better and so much easier if we would only stop to listen and to heed their words and to give them the chance to tell someone what the heck was on their mind in a world where no one wants to let them speak. It's downright <i>criminal</i> how we treat the elderly -- <i>our own parents and grandparents</i>!<br />
<br />
We ought, as a collective world, to be ashamed of ourselves. We don't even try to <i>find</i> time for them when we should be <i>making</i> time for them! If there was a way for me to physically yell that through a computer screen, I would. And I would <i>keep</i> yelling it, until every person on the cusp of departing this world after decades of toiling along through it has had their chance to speak, to be heard and to be <i>treated with the dignity they deserve</i>!<br />
<br />
My crimes against the elderly don't stop there, either. I've spoken to my paternal grandparents less than a handful of times in the last twelve years since I last <i>saw</i> them. The amount of wrong that I cannot go back in time and right astounds and appalls me. To think that I have left people who have done nothing but love me stuck in forced silence has finally started to rattle me to my core. I've finally allowed God to show me my wrongs, and they are horrific.<br />
<br />
This Christmas, when I am visiting my grandfather next, I'm going to actually <i>visit</i> with him. I'm not going to say hello, goodbye, and maybe mutter a few words in passing in between as I've done for a decade or more. I've already told him that, if his health permits, we are going to get into my car, and I am going to drive him wherever he wants to go and let <i>him </i>drive the conversation -- whether he wants to talk, or wants to listen. I have precious little time to repay my grandfather for all the lessons he taught me, and I am sure I could work at it every second of every day until he is gone and barely scratch the surface.<br />
<br />
I only hope I'll have the chance to <i>start</i> before God calls him home. Don't miss <i>your</i> chance to do the same.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-39066904411771201462012-06-29T13:57:00.001-04:002012-06-29T13:57:32.112-04:00Mike Needs Your Help!"Seriously, Dude? You resolved to write more often, haven't posted since March 12 despite having a new kid to tell the world about, and now you want our <i>help</i>? Have you gone wacky, or just plain stupid?"<br />
<br />
C. None of the above.<br />
<br />
We're going to start this story about a year and a half ago. At that point, I had been spiritually rebuilding for more than three years following what seemed five years ago to be a devastating event in my life (but when anything dies it feeds the ground, and from that event came two new relationships that have blessed Kaylee with not two, but <i>four</i> parents who love her dearly). Then something happened.<br />
<br />
God went silent.<br />
<br />
He was there. I knew he was. When you have accepted Christ as your Savior and you <i>really</i> focus on drawing yourself into alignment with Him, something changes. It's kind of like learning to ride your bike as a child: Dad holds you up and pushes you, slowly at first. Then, as you get your wheels under you, he speeds up, all the while telling you that you are doing great.<br />
<br />
Then, he lets go.<br />
<br />
You feel shaky and uncertain, because you are now doing this all on your own. But <i>you always know Dad is still behind you</i>, watching you, silently rooting for you to succeed, but always close enough to come running to your aid if you stumble and fall.<br />
<br />
Once you learn to ride, <i>then</i> Dad rides beside you.<br />
<br />
God and I had built up enough speed that he could let me go.<br />
<br />
During the silence, I did struggle. I wanted so desperately to hear Him, to know even the next tiny step in His plan for me. But it wasn't time. So, like Moses and the Israelites did for 40 years in the desert, I wandered. I knew God was there, but I needed to learn to wait on His timing.<br />
<br />
I began participating in the Men's Ministry programs at church last fall, and I developed some very close friendships with some amazing men. And about the same time, I started to hear God murmuring.<br />
<br />
Then, one day several months back, God started to shout.<br />
<br />
The prayers I prayed countless times to know the next step in my life finally started to get answered. There began to be some sense emerging from the chaos. God finally began to show me what was next.<br />
<br />
I would <i>love</i> to go into the details of what that is. I am dying to tell people, but it's not yet time. The one thing I can tell you is that it is an area of ministry that desperately needs attention but has received little. It's been done generally, but now God is calling me into the specifics.<br />
<br />
The few people who know the details at this point also know one detail about how I am handling it all: I feel like a cat being asked to fly.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong, I am <i>thrilled</i> to be taking this on. I just have no clue what I am doing. I'm figuring things out as I go -- like He usually does, God is telling me only what I need to know <i>right now</i>. His plan is perfect, and I know He will get me from point A to point B without issue if I continue to trust Him and do things His way. And point B may be complete failure -- but it will be a perfectly executed failure, and will be just one more small step in an enormous plan.<br />
<br />
So, about that next step...<br />
<br />
I'm going back to college!<br />
<br />
I'm not completing my English Degree!<br />
<br />
I'm not pursuing a degree in line with my career!<br />
<br />
I'm switching to Biblical Studies!<br />
<br />
Okay, to be clear, the major is Religion, with a <i>minor</i> in Biblical Studies. But I've never been too fond of the "R" word. Guess I need to get used to it.<br />
<br />
So that brings us to today. And, since you are here, you probably wanted more information on that whole "donation" thing. If not, check it out at <a href="https://www.wepay.com/donations/send-mike-back-to-school">https://www.wepay.com/donations/send-mike-back-to-school</a> first.<br />
<br />
Please understand, I am not doing this to be lazy, or to get the rest of my education on someone else's dime. I am actively pursuing scholarships and grants, as well, but there is simply not enough left in the budget for me to take college classes. So I'm doing this little "experiment." I put that in quotes because I just don't have a better way of phrasing it at the moment, despite the fact that I <i>know</i> God will provide. "Experiment" implies a possibility of failure.<br />
<br />
The page has "suggested" donation amounts. Those are there because 1) WePay asks for them, and 2) I want you all to be aware of why the current donation goal is what it is. $2,500 for one semester is <i>not</i> an arbitrary number. The total fees will be $2,365 per semester based on two classes and the technology fee. That leaves $135 to cover books and supplies. Of course, once the goal is reached I will certainly be raising it, because Those two classes aren't enough. I need at <i>least</i> 30 more credits, which is five two-class semesters. If enough money comes in and time allows, I will increase that course load.<br />
<br />
A quick note: I am using WePay so the process can be 100 percent transparent. I want you all to be able to easily check on the numbers and know they are genuine. However, there is a cost: WePay, like any other "free" service, does take a cut of the money. 3.5 percent of every transaction goes to WePay, so a $100 donation actually gets to me as $96.50. There is just no way around this without taking the time to write something myself, integrate it with a bank, etc. And, then, we lose the transparency entirely because the beneficiary is also the creator.<br />
<br />
So, with all of that out of the way, here is my formal request: please take the time to prayerfully consider a donation. Your gifts are contributing to finish a formal education in ministry, which will be used to run an organization that will fill a gap that so very desperately needs filled. What that is will be made public long before I graduate, but to better insure the long-term success of that ministry, this is necessary.<br />
<br />
Please, allow God to guide you in this decision. Any contribution, large or small, is very much appreciated and will be put to good use.<br />
<br />
Thank you for taking the time to read this.<br />
<br />
* Again, to donate, please go to <a href="https://www.wepay.com/donations/send-mike-back-to-school">https://www.wepay.com/donations/send-mike-back-to-school</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-83952060890767892912012-03-08T13:12:00.001-05:002012-03-08T13:19:32.305-05:00Now that I have time to breathe again...It's my lunch break, which is one of my favorite times of the day. I love my job and I look forward to coming to the office most days, but lunch time is my chance to forget that I work for someone else for sixty minutes. It's a chance to relax, to smell the proverbial coffee (sounds like some new Stinkbucks flavor, actually).<br />
<br />
And now, I think, I have finally reached the lunch break of my life, or at least my life as it currently exists. I think I've finally reached a point of stabilization, which is odd considering how rapidly things are changing for me and my family.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
First and foremost, we have a new addition: our son, who shall henceforth be known here as "Peanut", was born on March 1, 2012 at 2:57 a.m. after the Missus went through roughly 80 hours of contractions. And, no, that's not a joke or an exaggeration, except in that there were two or three times when falling asleep made the contractions stop until she woke up. It's a phenomenon called Prodromal Labor, and it can last weeks in extreme cases. That fact, along with the spelling, constitutes everything I know, or care to know, about the condition.<br />
<br />
Peanut was born by way of natural child birth, which is a fancy way of saying that my wife is both mildly psychotic and also as tough as nails wearing nuclear plate armor. The simple knowledge that I was about to, as it was said in the classic movie <i>Look Who's Talking</i>, "squeeze something the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a lemon" would be enough to make me evacuate and then lay in the fetal position weeping.<br />
<br />
However, her subsequent recovery has proved to me all the more that my back pain falls into the "severe" category, considering her pain is, by and large, removed through the efforts of hydrocodone and ibuprofen. I, on the other hand, can still feel my ailment to a significant degree despite having taken a combination of hydrocodone and morphine daily for the last three years (until recently, that is; because I am attempting to cut narcotics out of my life, I have switched from that frightening cocktail to a slightly less malevolent dosing of Percocet four times per day).<br />
<br />
That is in no way intended to downplay the pain I know she feels right now; I saw what caused it and I've seen the end result, and I can assure you that she most definitely hurts in ways that would make any sane person question even more severely what in the world Adam and Eve were thinking when they listened to a snake.<br />
<br />
So, Peanut is officially a week old now. He's been through a great deal in that time, including that little injury that most Western men receive a day or two after birth, as well as having his frenulum snipped.<br />
<br />
Despite the fact that those two sound like the same thing, the latter is actually a procedure for the tongue-tied of the world, in which the thin strip of flesh that runs down the center of the underside of the tongue is sliced in such a way as to enable improved "tongue mobility" in the recipient. Hopefully I have altered the mental image somewhat.<br />
<br />
As an aside, if I was to develop some desire to know what I would look like if I was sixty years old and bald, I could simply put a fake beard on my son. Dude is my spitting image, at least when his eyes are closed.<br />
<br />
It's almost scary.<br />
<br />
In other news, I believe I now have my digestive issues fully in hand. My final concoction consists of the following prior to a meal or any other substantial consumption of food and certain beverages like my beloved coffee:<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>1 Flax Seed Oil gel tab</li>
<li>1 Aloe Vera Concentrate gel tab</li>
<li>1 Betaine HCl (hydrochloric acid) tablet</li>
<li>1 Digestive Enzyme capsule (currently Standard Process's Zymex, but that is changing soon because of price)</li>
</ul>
<div>
That combination has not only allowed me to resume eating (almost) anything I want, but has also begun to allow my stomach and esophagus to heal -- something Nexium was advertised as doing. but really did nothing but mask a symptom and cause other health issues.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, on top of those things, I also take a daily B12 supplement as I attempt to finish repairing what Nexium has broken.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As a result of all of that, plus a concerted effort at losing weight since the year began, I am as of this morning down 10 pounds in 68 days. And all I have done to get there is to eat breakfast every day, watch my portion size and snack less. It really is that simple.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have taken allergy medication since I was a child. I took Claritin (and then Claritin-D) for so long that my body became immune to its effects. I switched to Allegra-D for about five years, and I have taken Zyrtec for the last four-plus years. In all that time, if I missed a dose or even went more than about six hours beyond my next scheduled dose, I began to get an itchy nose, a scratchy throat and watery eyes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I quit taking Nexium and Zyrtec at almost the same time. I haven't needed any allergy medication in over a month. How awesome is that?!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Okay, that's enough for now. I will add more soon. But I need to stop for one simple reason:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My lunch break is over.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-33488707039369144192012-02-08T12:36:00.001-05:002012-02-08T12:36:43.142-05:00Fighting fire with fire (almost literally!)I have discovered the cure for what ails me. For those who haven;t been listening, that ailment is acid reflux. The cure?<br />
<br />
Acid.<br />
<br />
No, not LSD. But, yes, acid. Now, I know that it goes against the laws of physics, nature and Sweden to combat acid with acid, but it's true. And it makes sense.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Here's the thing: most adults who suffer from acid reflux don't actually produce too much acid. They produce too <i>little</i> acid. Remember two things as you continue reading: 1) you don't need to have a stomach full of acid to have acid reflux, and 2) high pH can be as damaging and erosive as low pH.<br />
<br />
Think of it this way: there is no natural function of the human body that gets better with time -- if anything, most functions get <i>worse</i>. My body didn't all of the sudden start producing three times as much stomach acid when I turned 23. In fact, studies have shown that acid production is one of the mot common bodily functions to slow as we age. So, based on that, it would come to pass that we are, as a collective group, a bunch of low-acidity creatures, right?<br />
<br />
Well, if you count the number of prescriptions for Nexium, Protonix, Dexilent, et al, you would think that's a crazy statement. But, as I wrote last week, big medicine almost exclusively treats the symptom, not the disease. As my chiropractor likes to say, we take things like Tylenol as if the problem was an acetaminophen deficiency, while the problem is actually a headache from any number of causes: dehydration, overheating, stress, lack of sleep, etc. But acetaminophen only treats the pain; it doesn't take away stress or make you feel more rested.<br />
<br />
But, in reality, we are a high-pH society, which itself can come from any number of causes, though the most common is probably just aging. As a result, we have poor digestion. It's a vicious cycle, too: we can;t fully digest the food, which leads to a lack of nutrients, which prevents us from creating certain digestive enzymes, which in turn reduces our ability to digest food.<br />
<br />
To combat that, I have started taking enzyme supplements and a product called Betaine HCl -- that's H-C-el, not H-C-eye -- which is a fancy name for hydrochloric acid tablets. You can find it at your local nutrition shop. Additionally, I am currently taking Zymex by Standard Process, though I am switching brands when I am done with the current bottle for cost-cutting reasons.<br />
<br />
The bottom line is that it works. Last night I ate nachos from Moe's, complete with a large quantity of jalepeno slices. Four hours later I laid down for bed and got a complete night's sleep. I was not awakened at 3:00 a.m. with heartburn. I slept. And, to me, that's called a win.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-45649733415064404852012-01-31T12:32:00.003-05:002012-01-31T14:48:36.181-05:00The racket of modern medicineThe more I read and the more I experience, the more I doubt traditional medicine.<br />
<br />
I have spent most of my 31 years with one ailment or another: allergies, asthma, constant recurrences of croup (as a child) and bronchitis (as I grew up and into adulthood), severe acid reflux (Gastroesophogal Reflux Disorder, or GERD) and a herniated disc, to name a few. Needless to say, I am no stranger to traditional medicine.<br />
<br />
I also think it has a very valid place, too. Have an emergency? By all means, go to the hospital and get 24-hour, pill-popping care. You can always fix the problem later, as long as you are alive. And, sometimes, you <i>need</i> to treat the symptoms until you feel well enough to try a more homeopathic solution to the <i>problem</i>.<br />
<br />
But modern medicine typically targets <i>symptoms</i>, which serves one purpose: to keep you coming back. After all, medicine is a business, and they want repeat customers. If you are healthy, they never get your money.<br />
<br />
Go ahead, call me a cynic. But I have spent my life <i>feeling</i> better instead of <i>being </i>better.<br />
<br />
Case in point: the way I have been feeling lately as a result of GERD.I have been seeing doctors for eight years about it, and the best any ever did was prescribe Nexium. If you want to know how that worked out, go read my previous two posts.<br />
<br />
This is just a rant. But I do want to get everyone to see the point here: make sure that, when talking to a doctor, you are clear that you want to tackle the cause, not the smptoms.<br />
<br />
I will post more on this...um...eventually. Gotta be careful; the Big Medicine Syndicate may send someone to break my knees if I yell too loud too often. Or at least have someone threaten me with unauthorized colonoscopies or something like that.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-35296846150694033482012-01-27T16:50:00.000-05:002012-01-27T16:50:19.834-05:00Nexium Free - Day Three (poetic, ain't it?)A few days later, there are results.<br />
<br />
Okay, I'm not going to say I am bouncing off the walls with energy and have a reflux-free gut. But there is definitely something happening here.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Okay, I admit I have been staying away from spicy foods and will continue to do so for another week. I may try pizza to see what happens with something as acidic as tomatoes, but we will see.<br />
<br />
The bottom line here is this: I haven't taken Nexium since Tuesday. In that time I have already noticed that I have had more energy. I made it to just past lunch time Wednesday before I felt like I was getting drowsy. Thursday was mostly a wash because I was sick, most likely from eating the Burnin' Love Burger at Red Robin to break a 24-hour fast. Not my best decision, in retrospect. Heck, I didn't think it was going to be a good idea when I did it, but come on -- fried jalapenos, pepperjack cheese, chipotle mayonnaise and a half-pound of choice beef on a jalepeno roll? How can I, a lover of the spicy delicacy, pass that one up?<br />
<br />
But Friday. Ah, Friday. Today I began using aloe vera juice and a B12 supplement (41,667% of the recommended dose? Seriously? How awesome is <i>that</i>?!). I sat through a one-hour meeting about the company's performance in 2011. Numbers and statistics, sitting still and only a cup of tea to keep me company. Sounds like kryptonite to me!<br />
<br />
*blink*<br />
<br />
I. Stayed. Alert.<br />
<br />
Someone call the authorities, something is very, <i>very</i> wrong here. Or maybe very <i>right</i>. Seems to be the B12 is working, eh?<br />
<br />
As for the aloe vera juice? Well, I took an aloe vera gel tab this morning before a breakfast of a fruit smoothie and coffee. No burn. Then I had Lean Cuisine mac & cheese for lunch, with an apple to finish off the meal (thanks for the tip, Dave; quite a good remedy!). There was a hint of burn, so I drank a quarter-cup (two ounces) of the juice. <br />
<br />
A brief side note here: there is almost no taste, but what is there is <i>bad</i>. It tastes about like how wallpaper paste smells, with a little hint of lemon to top it off.<br />
<br />
No. Burn.<br />
<br />
I'm almost beside myself right now, because I have gone nearly 84 hours without taking any Nexium and I have no heartburn. And here's the kicker: I have a month of juice at $7.84, two months of B12 at $4.88 and two months of aloe vera gel tabs at $5.24. Per month that comes to $12.90 plus the cost of any apples I choose to eat, but those are optional. Last year, under Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts (long story), I paid $50 per month for Nexium. Under BCBS of North Carolina at my current job, I would pay $30 per month. I just saved $17.10 per month and I feel better. I'd call that a win-win if I've ever seen one.<br />
<br />
Further updates as events warrant.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-88941242077455674932012-01-25T14:17:00.000-05:002012-01-25T14:19:50.282-05:00A gut-wrenching decision?Does it sound worse than it is? For you, maybe.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here's the good news: I think I figured out why I could be outpaced by a sloth these days. Why I <i>arrive</i> at work feeling like I just went ten rounds with Tyson (except my ears are still attached). Why from the moment I wake up, all I want to do is go to bed. Why the only thing I do well these days is toss and turn.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
B12.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As in, the vitamin. It's not some new, top-secret bomber the air force has been working on, although bombers and the condition in question do have napalm-esque, searing pain associated with them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Nexium!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I like one-word paragraphs.<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div>
Seriously, I believe the cause to be Nexium. That same medication I have hailed as a Godsend for years is working hard to kill me through medically induced lethargy. How we get from point A to Albuquerque by way of New Zealand is a strange path, indeed.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It started weeks ago. A close relative of mine has a medical issue that prevents him from absorbing B12. As a result, he often goes through bouts of the fall-asleeps regardless of how much sleep he manages. Lately, I have been going through bouts of the fall-asleeps regardless of how much sleep I manage. See a pattern?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But it didn't start there. It started with leg pain.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I <i>told</i> you this is a strange path.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have severe leg pain, in part from a herniated disc. But recently I have noticed the same pain in my arms, too. So I finally decided to search for "extremity pain" rather than "leg pain" and happened across "B12 deficiency" as one of the causes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Bingo</b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
See? There was another one!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not the least bit reluctantly, I searched for information about B12 deficiency. Suddenly, multiple sites were reporting acid-reducing medications as a cause. I first took Protonix, and now Nexium, beginning in early 2004 when reflux had begun forcing me awake because I was choking. For the last eight years, I have been GERD-free. So why did it take this long to notice?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, it's because the liver stores a three- to five year supply of the stuff. I was slowly depleting my body's store, and finally got to the end of it mid- to late-2011.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yay? Not so fast.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
If you take a moment to look at the name of this site, you will notice that half of it is heartburn in a bottle, and the other half's primary delivery method (coffee) is heartburn in a microwave-safe mug. I love hot food! I love acidic food!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Crud buckets.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, today I have researched some homeopathic remedies, and have found one that is promising. But if that doesn't work?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
*sigh*</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-1137391386814341942012-01-03T14:23:00.000-05:002012-01-03T14:27:54.362-05:00Resolving with...uh...resolve!In the immortal words of Austin Powers, "allow myself to introduce...myself."<br />
<br />
I am Mike. Many of you know me -- and, by "many", I mean three out of the four of you. For those who don't, and for those who do, allow me to tell you about the Me I Intend to Be in 2012.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I will be a better Christian. I don't mean I will attend church services more regularly, considering I am there every Sunday and Wednesday unless I am ill or out of town. I don't mean I will read my Bible more often, although I am resolving to do that as well. What I mean is this: I will live and love more like Christ than I ever have. Simple, right? Well, it <i>can</i> be; I just need to let it.<br />
<br />
I will be a better husband. I will listen more intently and stop putting M<i>e</i> ahead of <i>She</i>. I will care for her more directly and pray for -- and <i>with</i> -- her more intently. I will be the Man of the House instead of the Dictator of the House. That means I set the example for my family and I lead not with an iron fist, but with an eye toward compromise.<br />
<br />
I will be a better father. I will stop sitting idly by while my pregnant wife provides most of the care for our daughter. I will lead by the same example Christ has set for me. I will discipline with love. I will set proper boundaries and stand firmly on them.<br />
<br />
I will be a better blogger. I will update you more frequently, because you care enough to wait for me to write something. I will write with more passion, the way I did before life became so complex.<br />
<br />
I will be a better <i>me</i>. There is no other Mike Frazer, so I will be what <i>I</i> expect of me. I will go to bed earlier, wake up on time, eat the foods God created rather than the ones man fouled up and clean up this run-down Temple of God through exercise.<br />
<br />
Okay, now that the poetry is out of the way, let's talk in prose.<br />
<br />
We all make resolutions, and 99.999 percent of the time we fail. We fail because we have no willpower and because we set vague goals. Honestly, I think we do that specifically because we have no more intention to keep our resolutions than we do to keep pet cockroaches in the vegetable crisper drawer.<br />
<br />
So, rather than set vague goals, here are my specific ones -- stated publicly so you can all hold me accountable.<br />
<br />
1) I will work to lose two pounds per week until my weight is down to 170 pounds. I will do this through diet and <i>aerobic</i> exercise. My diet will be high-protein, low-fat and delicious.<br />
<br />
2) I will then add anaerobic exercise to my workout to allow me to tone and add muscle.<br />
<br />
3) I will get to bed no later than 10:30 at least four nights per week on average, with lights out by 11:00.<br />
<br />
4) I will save at least $10 from my monthly allowance so I can make the purchases I want without affecting the rest of my family.<br />
<br />
5) I will encourage my family to eat home-cooked meals at least five nights per week. I will do this by planning meals with my wife at least for the upcoming week, if not the month, and ensure that all the necessary supplies are in the house by the time I need to prepare the meal.<br />
<br />
6) Most important of all: I will live my life for <i>God</i>.<br />
<br />
You can hold me to it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-46090581312315193402011-08-12T11:23:00.003-04:002011-08-12T11:23:41.149-04:00My home office is going to get crampedThe wife and I have made a decision. We're going to take on a new boarder in the house. There are a million positives here, not the least of which being someone else's smiles to share. The only real negative is that what is currently my home office is going to b converted into the new bedroom. Then my little princess will move to the other bedroom, and the room she new occupies will become the Guestroom/office. It's not going to be a palatial place by any stretch of the imagination.<br />
<br />
Oh, and they will live here rent-free.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Okay, now I will let any of you who have seen my home figure this one out, because you already know the office is currently in that little room connected to the master suite and separated from us by glass french doors.<br />
<br />
[waits while 2 and 2 are combined]<br />
<br />
"Four" in this case means -- did you figure it out yet?! -- we are having <i>a baby</i>. We've been married over a year now and -- let's face it -- I'm getting no younger. It was time for another one.<br />
<br />
I'm rooting for a son this time around, as much as I would love to have another daughter. Kaylee is one of the two greatest blessings God has given me, and having another daughter to raise would be thrilling. Besides, the hand-me-down dresses and skirts would look a lot better on a girl. But the reason I would like a son is less of a guy thing and more a function of my current physical status. Most of you are aware of my rather severe back problems (one herniated disc, another on its way, six degenerating or already degenerated discs, mild arthritis). Add to that problems with my right shoulder (had three partial tears in my rotator cuff which still bother me from time to time almost two years later) and two bad knees, and you can see that my window to do all that "guy stuff" with a son is closing fast.<br />
<br />
I want to play ball with my son. I want to teach him how to tackle, how to perform a proper slapshot, or how to master my absolutely wicked wrist shot -- hey, a little self-promotion is good for the ego at times. I want to do things with him that I can follow up by saying, "...but don't tell your mother!" or "I can't believe you ate that!"<br />
<br />
Most of all, I want to teach him the art of the Armpit Fart.<br />
<br />
But I would still be happy with another daughter. Heck, I'd be happy if the kid turned out to be a marmoset, because it's <i>my</i> kid.<br />
<br />
I'm certainly not the World's Greatest Dad by any stretch of the imagination. I'd personally put myself closer to the <i>other</i> end of that spectrum, just because I believe I still have way more to learn than I should by the time my first has reached five (and a half as of Aug. 28th, for anyone counting). But the one thing I can promise any kid of mine is unending, unconditional love. Which I suppose shifts me toward the good end of that dad-quality scale, so maybe I'm not so bad a dad after all. It's a sad commentary on the state of the world when love is no longer required in the eyes of society in order for someone to be deemed fit to be a parent, but that's for another time (and probably more than likely it would end up on <i><a href="http://godthencountry.blogspot.com/">God Then Country</a></i>, not here).<br />
<br />
Aimless ramblings aside, the point is that my wife and I are having a baby. And I can't imagine how I could be happier!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-23405748744967865202011-08-11T09:47:00.002-04:002011-08-11T10:15:47.224-04:00Update on me (or, "Talking like I think you care")I know I have a few carry-over readers from my InvertedMind days. I can count you on my nostrils, and half of you live with me and can read above a kindergarten level, but it counts for something, right?<br />
<br />
I've actually had a few questions as to where I've been lately, and why I haven't written since I posted about the Rapture being cancelled. No, I wasn't raptured away, unfortunately. I'm still counting on it, but it hasn't happened yet.<br />
<br />
No, I'm still alive and, well...okay, I'm alive. I think that's a win at this point, considering my constant work schedule. And I do mean "constant."<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Shortly after my last post, things heated up in the office due to a deadline. We worked long and hard, and think the only time I didn't put in a sixty-hour (or more) week since the end of May was the week I was on vacation over the July 4th holiday. I'm depressed and psyched about tomorrow all at the same time, because -- assuming I live to see it -- it marks the 33rd consecutive day I have worked. That period includes pulling an all-nighter that concluded at 6:30 a.m., and then was followed by a 45-minute nap, then a shower and a doctor appointment (more on that in my next post), then another short nap, several more hours of work and then an inadvertent 30-minute nap in my desk chair.<br />
<br />
I've certainly had more fun in my life.<br />
<br />
But there's a light at the end of the tunnel!<br />
<br />
There's a significant chance I will <i>not</i> need to work this weekend -- and I <i>absolutely won't work</i> on Sunday because it's my birthday and I need to actually enjoy a day, dadgumit.<br />
<br />
So, that's why I have been AWOL, MIA, or one of those other acronyms that means I haven't been where I was supposed to be for a while. We really need a civilian version. Something like DTTWAUTF -- "Dead To The World And Unable To Function." I like it. Doctor Spock, make it so!<br />
<br />
Spock? Hello? Oh, yeah. That's an old, outdated television show. See? I really <i>have</i> been driven to the edge of my sanity.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-86070014725075463702011-05-20T20:36:00.001-04:002011-05-21T12:12:01.476-04:00Tomorrow's Rapture Has Been Cancelled. Apologies for the Inconvenience.You've likely heard by now that Jesus is supposed to come back tomorrow -- at least according to one largely misguided man and his followers.<br />
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Maybe I should back-track a bit. Could Christ return for His people on May 21, 2011? Absolutely. He could also come back on May 23rd, August 9th, or some time in 2338. No one knows.<br />
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And that's the point. <i>No one</i> knows.<br />
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And no one <i>will</i> know. The Bible says as much. Mark 13:32-33 states, "but about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be on alert! You do not know when that time will come." My guess is that Harold Camping, the perpetrator of this most recent published prediction of the Rapture, falls into one of the categories other than "the Father", so the Bible clearly states that <i>he won't know</i>.<br />
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The problem isn't that one misguided man has made a poor interpretation of scripture. It's that he has, in turn, led others to believe something that is completely contrary to scripture. And, unfortunately, the media has latched on to it like a leech on, well, something with blood in it. But it's not because they think it could happen; they are using this to portray Christians as a bunch of wackos, much as they did with Heaven's Gate and the Branch Davidians.<br />
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Camping does have one thing right, though: the signs of the end times are growing by the day. The absolute minimum requirement is that the Gospel must be preached to all nations (Mark 13:10). And Camping is actually fulfilling more than one piece of scripture. Sure, there is the bit about many claiming to come in the name of Christ who have not actually been sent by the Father (Mark 13:22 - " ... false prophets will appear ... "). But he is also helping to fulfill Mark 13:13, which states that "everyone will hate you because of me." In a way, giving the mainstream world another straw to grasp at in their attempt to discredit Christians, Harold Camping is helping to bring about the Rapture he thinks he can predict.<br />
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Things are going to get worse before we, the elect, are raptured to heaven. We will not know the exact time and place, but there will be signs. Earthquakes and other natural disasters will increase -- sort of like the massive quakes and tsunamis and hurricanes affecting Japan, Chile, Indonesia and Louisiana in the last five years. There will be the aforementioned false messiahs and false prophets, and other signs. And, Christ says, "when you see these things happening, you will know that it is near, right at the door." (Mark 13:29)<br />
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So, be on the lookout. Be aware of your surroundings and pay attention, for God is telling us when His Son will return. But He isn't telling is the date or time. But when those signs are present, <i>be prepared</i>! Just as Lot was instructed not to look back at the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, we are told not to turn back to bring anything with us ("Let no one on the housetop go down or enter the house to take anything out" (Mark 13:15)) -- for Christ is rapturing <i>us</i>, not our belongings.<br />
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And remember: Christ will return at a time when <i>no one</i> is expecting him. So be ready always, so you have no need to predict His return.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-79212288119445761052011-05-20T12:54:00.000-04:002011-05-20T12:54:42.520-04:00New post @ God Then CountryAs some of you know, I run multiple blogs. One that has been a long time in planning but has just now finally had its first finished post is <i>God Then Country</i>, a blog with the purpose of opening dialog about faith and national identity and the intersection between the two.<br />
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That post addresses the national debt crisis and can be found <a href="http://godthencountry.blogspot.com/2011/05/dear-us-congress-stop-fighting-cut.html">here</a>. Please take the time to read, and leave comments on the site. The dialog starts today!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-66252910719277126942011-04-23T13:47:00.002-04:002011-05-26T10:36:45.999-04:00Diet Update - Six Weeks In, the Rest of my Life to GoSo, if you've been a loyal follower for all <b>ten</b> or so of my blog posts since closing InvertedMind.com and opening Caffeine & Hot Sauce!, you are aware that I have been dieting. First of all, the method: I have been following the <i>Eat this, Not That! No-Diet Diet</i>, which is less of a diet and more of a method. It explains why we gain weight based on certain eating habits, such as why even a small shot of sugar on an empty stomach can have big consequences (the long and short of it is that when you get a sudden increase in blood sugar, your body releases a load of insulin into your blood to account for it; the downside is that an insulin imbalance like that will put your body into fat-storage mode, fighting with the insulin for the sugar and storing that sugar in fat cells).<br />
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Well, it works. In the first three weeks I lost nine pounds and did not feel hungry. The method forces you to follow specific steps that <i>change your habits and the way you approach eating</i>. You don't need to stop eating all the things you like, you just need to make some small changes and substitutions. You don't sacrifice flavor, and it allows for snacks as long as you stay aware of what you are eating.<br />
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I also have been using MyFitnessPal.com, which allows me to track my calorie intake easily and quickly, as well as tracking exercise and water consumption. I highly recommend signing up if you plan to do <i>any</i> kind of diet.<br />
<br />
So, here is my specific method using a typical day's meals and snacks as an example:<br />
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<b>Breakfast</b><br />
The key to breakfast is making sure it is your <i>largest</i> meal of the day, is high in protein and is eaten within an hour of waking up. Eating so close to waking primes your metabolism for the entire day, keeping it higher even when at rest.<br />
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For me, a typical breakfast consists of:<br />
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<ul><li>Two whole eggs or just the whites (cutting out <i>some</i>(not all!) the cholesterol is never a bad thing)</li>
<li>Two slices of white-bread toast with Shed's Spread Country Crock with Calcium)</li>
<li>One tablespoon of Texas Pete's Buffalo Wing Sauce (I like it spicy)</li>
<li>Twenty ounces of coffee with fat-free half-and-half</li>
</ul><div><b>Snacks</b></div><div>Snacking is actually very important, because it helps to knock out enough of your appetite to keep you from binging at lunch time and dinner time, as well as before bed (my worst time). I recommend a snack around 10:30 a.m., 3:00 p.m. and no less than one hour before bed. My snacks consist of either a small container of Greek yogurt with honey (six ounces, I think) or a piece of fruit. Bananas are awesome because of the massive load of potassium, and I either do that or two Mandarin oranges. You want to keep a snack to around 100 calories but not over 200, especially if you are in fat-loss mode rather than weight-control mode. Right now my target is 1,700 calories per day, and it is working great -- especially if I let myself go over once in a while. More on that in a bit.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Lunch</b></div><div>Lunches vary more than breakfast for me. At work I usually will eat a large salad with chicken -- Ceasar, Chef or Southwest for me, but any salad will do. One thing I recommend, if you are buying your salad, is to use your own dressing. For one, it guarantees that you will have one you like, and it also allows you to choose beforehand if you will eat regular, lite or fat-free. I personally do not like fat-free dressings because of the texture, but I do go for lite/light dressings all the time.</div><div><br />
</div><div>My other common option for lunch is a sandwich. The key here is the ingredients: you <i>want</i> some fat in your diet, so you don't have to skip the cheese! My sandwich usually consists of:</div><div><ul><li>Two slices of whole-grain bread, usually Pepperidge Farm or Arnold brands</li>
<li>Six slices of a combination of Oscar Meyer Deli-fresh Ultra-thin Turkey or Ham, and Hard or Genoa Salami (keep the salamis to no more than <i>two</i> slices, as they are high in fat and sodium)</li>
<li>One slice of cheese (I prefer cheddar or provolone)</li>
<li>Pickles (<i>NO CALORIES!</i>)</li>
<li>My special honey mustard (two teaspoons of Gulden's spicy brown mustard, one teaspoon of honey and two teaspoons of (secret ingredient here) plain Greek yogurt, blended together</li>
</ul></div><div><b>Dinner</b></div><div>Dinners give the widest variety, of course. Don't worry so much about <i>what</i> you eat here, but rather <i>how much</i>. Obviously, eating Hamburger Helper or bratwurst each night is not a good idea, so be smart. But don't feel like you have to eat a bowl of bean sprouts, either. Be <i>smart</i> about what you eat, and you can still enjoy yourself.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Night-time Snack</b></div><div>I like to switch this up from my daytime snacks. I will usually either have a smoothie (this is a great time to add a shot of protein to your diet, though; just mix some whey protein into your smoothie) or I will have tortilla chips and salsa. Although the chips contain a little fat, the salsa (as long as it isn't one of the über-Goliath brands like Pace or Chi-Chi's, because they are loaded with sodium) is a great way to load upon a serving of vegetables. If you choose a variety like Black-Bean or Mango, you can also add a helping of either protein or fruit. And, despite the fat, the corn chips are also very healthy.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Cheating is not just allowed, it's encouraged!</b></div><div>This is probably the biggest key of all to sticking with a diet: give yourself a day every week or two to eat what you want. You still need to pay attention to the portion size, but eat what makes you happy on these days. If you don't build in opportunities to intentionally break away from your diet, you <i>will</i> eventually gain the weight back. You will find that, as your habits and approach to eating change over time, you will take advantage of these days less and less. That's because losing weight is less about inherited traits (although metabolic rates and other factors <i>are</i> hereditary; I am not discounting this part) and more about the habits you have developed since childhood. If you have obese parents, your chances of being overweight are higher not primarily because of your genes, but because the habits you learned as a child are likely the same ones that got your parents to that point, too.</div><div><br />
</div><div><i>If</i> you have a genetic disposition toward being overweight, changing your habits is even <i>more</i> critical, because you will have to fight twice as hard. So the biggest part of all is most definitely your self-discipline. How badly you <i>want</i> to lose weight will ultimately be your key to success.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Exercise</b></div><div>Exercise all the way at the bottom? What gives?</div><div><br />
</div><div>Well, it's a critical part of your health. But it's <i>not</i> a critical part of weight loss. Studies show that 75 percent of changes in your metabolism are caused by the food you eat, not the amount of exercise you do each day. But remember, your weight-loss efforts will be 25 percent <i>less</i> effective if you <i>don't</i> exercise, so the choice is yours. Remember this, too: exercise is less about your weight than it is your general health. You can be 5'3" and 110 pounds with a slammin' figure, and still have one butt-cheek on your death-bed. So, while it's not critical to weight loss, it <i>is</i> critical to having a long, healthy life.</div><div><br />
</div><div>For people like me, with significant back problems (I, for one, have a herniated disc in my low back and had one on the verge of herniating in my neck), running is out of the question. It's high-impact and is laegely the reason why the one in my low back herniated to begin with -- or at least what pushed an already-bad disc over the edge. So, I bought a bike. You don't have to go as expensive as I did, buying a mid-range mountain bike with a dual-suspension, primed and ready for going off-road once my back can handle it, but it's a great option whether you spend $90 or $900. Other basic exercises like push-ups, sit-ups and free weights are excellent options as well.</div><div><br />
</div><div>If you attack this will all you've got, you will see quick results. But don't expect to sustain a rate of two to three pounds per week. As your body begins to shed fat it had packed on from a willpower-free diet and you start to exercise more, it will begin to rebuild some lost muscle. Since muscle weighs five times as much as fat, you will need to lose fat at a rate five times greater than your body adds muscle <i>just to break even</i>. So rely less on a simple measurement like weight and more on things like body mass index (BMI) and how much better your clothes begin to fit. I have already shed at least an inch and a half off my waist and probably more, most of that in the last three weeks in which my weight has come down by a single pound, even though I had lost nine in the first three weeks.</div><div><br />
</div><div>One final note: one of the biggest failures of most diets is that they are don for a set amount of time, and then the dieter goes back to old habits. Th only diet that will work is one that is <i>permanent</i>. That's why I have harped on changing your <i>eating habits</i>. It's about seeing what you eat differently and understanding that you are full <i>long</i> before you feel stuffed. Is it okay now and then? Hey, I'll forgive you if you go overboard at Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. It happens. But as long as that is the exception rather than the rule, you are well on your way to getting your weight under control.</div><div><br />
</div><div>In the near future I willbegin adding some of my recipes, like a Chipotlé egg salad and other tasty dishes that will prove that you don't need to hate your food to lose weight. Good luck and, if you choose to use this method, keep me up to date. Share your progress here so others can be encouraged by what you are doing.</div><div><br />
</div><div><b>Links</b></div><div><a href="http://www.eatthisnotthatbook.com/">Eat This, Not That! books</a></div><div><a href="http://eatthis.menshealth.com/">Eat This, Not That! tips</a> at MensHealth.com</div><div><a href="http://eatthis.womenshealthmag.com/">Eat This, Noth That!</a> at WomensHealthMag.com</div><div>Follow <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/EatThisNotThat">Eat This, Not That!</a> on Twitter for more tips!</div><div><br />
</div><div>*Disclaimer: I am, in absolutely no way, affiliated with the Eat This, Not That! program or books. I bought the book myself one night at Wal-Mart and gave it a read. I have since modeled my <i>own</i> diet on the principles outlined in the book. I am <i>not</i> a dietitian and my advice should not be considered entirely correct. Please, <i>please</i> consult your doctor before beginning any diet or exercise program. I cannot be held responsible for any injury, illness or other disorder you develop as a result, directly or otherwise, as a result of using any or all of my advice. This information is simply here to help you to start forming your <i>own</i> plan <i>with the assistance of your doctor or other medical professional</i>.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Consider yourself warned. And me protected.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-7285975364801976442011-04-19T12:59:00.000-04:002011-04-19T12:59:37.495-04:00Faith Through DestructionI'll expound to a greater degree on this in another post, but anyway...<br />
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I am fascinated by tornadoes. Captivated. They are a combination of power, beauty and unpredictability that is rivaled by nothing else on planet Earth. By beauty I mean that, to be formed, they require extremely precise conditions to occur simultaneously in order to even have a <i>chance</i>. And I know there are a lot of people in Oklahoma, Alabama and here in North Carolina who are having a hard time seeing this "beauty" right now. To many, they see the face of death itself. To others, they see a thief, who stole their entire lives. But to understand them is to see that amazing beauty despite great loss.<br />
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Sadly, we don't understand them. We can't predict them, and we can't even promise to know where they will go even five seconds from now. Chances are good that we will <i>never</i> be able to know.<br />
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I have a goal in life to see how close I can get to a tornado. But after this weekend, I want to add a caveat to that: I want to be the one doing the chasing. Playing hide-and-seek with 300-m.p.h. winds is not my idea of fun -- and it's the second time in two years I've had to rely on luck to avoid one. After parts of ten years in Texas without so much as a tornado warning, I've now had three encounters with them in Michigan and North Carolina that have either had me (and others) hiding in a bathtub or basement, or (stupidly) running from one.<br />
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We were lucky to avoid the twister this weekend -- or, more accurately, that it avoided us. All my loved ones in northeast Raleigh -- my wife and daughter, my brother- and sister-in-law (and dog-in-law, too), and a friend and her two kids -- were missed by varying degrees, with two downed trees in a yard and no electricity for an extended period the worst of our collective damage. Our margins of luck were as wide as two miles and as narrow as several hundred feet, but we are all safe and damage-free.<br />
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The same cannot be said for hundreds of homes immediately around all of us. I have personally witnessed damage from missing trim work to downed trees, from missing fences to missing roofs, from damaged cars to destroyed homes. I've seen steel-framework electrical wiring rigs bent cleanly in half (two of them). I've seen graves uprooted.<br />
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The eeriest parts of it all were the distant rumbles of thunder afterward, even though there was no longer even a single cloud left to be seen in the sky.<br />
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I've seen the side of my obsession that I want never to see again: the human impact and cost of a natural force. But, I also believe the Bible is the infallible word of God and, therefore, is perfect in its content. That means it will only get worse, and dramatically so.<br />
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I urge you all to find God if you have not already, or to draw even nearer to Him if you have that relationship already. Like the winds of a tornado, Christ's return to collect his faithful will come when you don't expect it, and will result in destruction and desolation if you are not prepared. Prepare, and learn to expect it even when you aren't expecting it. If the signs in the world are any indication, it's coming sooner than you may think.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-50957099094150099732011-03-23T13:11:00.002-04:002011-03-23T17:41:46.845-04:00How to Tell Your Nation's Leader Needs Relieved of Duty<i>It's been a while, I know. I have been busy with work -- yes, I actually do something with my time besides find ways to avoid writing here...</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
I've never been one to think Hugo Chavez was playing with a full deck. That El Presidente de Venezuela would think Iran's leader still has full control of his faculties is already sending up warning signs, and that was one of Hugorama's more recent <i>did-he-really-just-say-that?</i> moments. So it's not like I took to writing this post thinking the man had taken a sudden turn for the dumber. It's been a long time in coming.<br />
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But, Mr. Chavez, please don't take it wrong if one -- or most -- of your constituents ask you kindly to please step out from behind the desk and hand over any of the nation's pens and/or stationery you may have "borrowed" during your years of service. Really, it would be crazy of them not to. Of course, in your case, crazy is most decidedly a relative concept, because next to you Tom Cruise looks like Ben Stein.<br />
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Hugo, Hugo, Hugo...your disdain for capitalism is well documented. We know how much you hate America and everything for which this great nation stands. But if you ever manage to <s>hold a public office</s> find a job for which you are still sane enough again, I would strongly urge you not to <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110322/od_nm/us_venezuela_chavez_mars">claim that capitalism killed life on Mars</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-36739361453008945162011-03-11T14:24:00.000-05:002011-03-11T14:24:43.938-05:00A Call to PrayerLet's take a brief respite from my usually sarcastic self, m'kay?<br />
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Today is a day that will live in the world's collective conscience for quite some time, but not fort any good reasons. This morning, a devastatingly powerful earthquake off the coast of Japan triggered a tsunami. Chances are pretty good that you already knew that. Hundreds are dead and countless more are missing in these early stages of rescue and recovery operations. You already knew that, too.<br />
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You can help. You can, I promise. You don't need to fly or swim to Japan and start digging out survivors and bodies. You don't need to give money or set up a Web site to collect donations, although these are all great ideas.<br />
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In fact, you <i>shouldn''t</i> do any of these things if you don't feel called to do so. That's not part of God's plan. But what is always part of His plan is for you to pray.<br />
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Pray unceasingly. Pray for the safety of those still in peril. Pray for protection for those who are involved in rescue ops. Pray for the souls of the deceased. Pray for healing for the injured. Pray for comfort and clarity for the family and friends left behind. Pray for each and every homeowner and shopkeeper as they begin to rebuild their lives from the soggy ground up. Pray for order to reign supreme in the coming weeks and months. Pray that those who are believers keep their hearts and minds aligned with God rather than turn from Him in anger. Pray that those who don't know Him will <i>find</i> him through this disaster and choose to lean entirely on Him. But, above all else, pray for Christ to return quickly, so that we never have to go through these types of disasters again.<br />
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Pray, and don't stop doing it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-51418919061032360192011-03-08T20:38:00.001-05:002011-03-08T20:49:13.441-05:00Like, Literally.I have a habit of using a lot of colloquialisms when I speak, particularly informally. I've picked them up over the years and the collection is vast. In the last several months, watching five seasons of NCIS on DVD, I have picked up a lot of military speak, as well. So, this evening, I called out that I would have to use the bathroom soon, but in typical Navy-ese.<br />
<br />
Never say something figurative in front of a five-year-old. They really don't get it. But it can lead to some funny moments if you do, so forget that instruction. Do it. Do it often. You could get things like this gem.<br />
<br />
Hilarity ensued when I stated that I needed to "hit the head" in a few minutes. My daughter exclaimed, "I'll do it!" and proceeded to smack me upside the brain cave.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-34704403678363417592011-03-08T10:47:00.001-05:002011-03-08T10:47:56.165-05:00I Want my Dadgum Coffee.<div><p>There is a reason coffee is so prominently featured on this blog.  It makes the whole world better.  It is the drink of many kings, the second- most traded commodity behind oil and, well, really darn good.</p>
<p>Clearly, if coffee's primary goodness -- that would be caffeine, for the uninitiated -- is part of this blog's name, then it must be important to me.</p>
<p>It is.</p>
<p>Water to a fish.</p>
<p>Air to a mammal.</p>
<p>Bacon to almost any meal.</p>
<p>Caffeine to Mike.</p>
<p>It really is that important.  Headaches magically melt away in the presence of caffeine.  I can function after the first cup of Joe.  I am human after two.  It's bliss.</p>
<p>So when I have to start my day without it, things go to crap.  Instantly.  Wholely.</p>
<p>This morning was one of those days.  And it started with needing gas.  All the pumps were occupied and there was a line.  At 7:30am.  And I had a chiropractic appointment at 7:45.  I got in line and waited, knowing that afterward I would be able to rush into the store and get my morning cup.</p>
<p>It's never that simple.</p>
<p>I went inside,  knowing I could still make it if I was done in two minutes.  I should have smelled trouble, though when they were out of 24-ounce cups.  Not that it mattered -- they were out of non-flavored regular.  I don't do decaf before 5:00pm.  In fact, I generally refer to decaf as "Why Bother?".</p>
<p>I grumbled, sat the cup with a few drops in it on the counter, and left.  How could the morning get any worse?</p>
<p>Like this!</p>
<p>I pulled up to the intersection with Capital Blvd. and moved to the right lane to get a clean takeoff around the slowpoke ahead of me when the light turned green, being the first car in line.  That person chose, at the last minute, to move to the turn lane,  nullifying my lane change.  Oh well, no biggie.</p>
<p>Biggie.</p>
<p>The light changed and Capital began moving.  Then they stopped, and the turn lanes on my street went.  Then opposing traffic went.</p>
<p>But my light never changed.  Capital then went again.</p>
<p>Then the entire cycle repeated.  Twice.</p>
<p>Finally I chose to make a right and go down one intersection.  I called the doctor and alerted them to my impending late arrival.  When I arrived the good doc offered me a shot of his organic dark roast from his Thermos, largely saving the day.</p>
<p>The moral of the story though is don't get between me and my dadgum coffee, or my day will go to pot in a fireball's hurry.</p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-34889127329186943672011-03-06T15:56:00.000-05:002011-03-06T15:56:18.192-05:00I'm FatOkay, I'm going to make something public that I have managed to keep under wraps (somewhat literally) for quite some time:<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>I'm a fat hog with enough love handle for the population of Sri Lanka to grab hold of. With both hands. With leftovers for Java t to join in on the blubber-lovin' fun.</div><div><br />
</div><div>"But Mike, you have a rather svelte figure!" "You carry your weight well!" "You have something between your teeth!"</div><div><br />
</div><div>[silence]</div><div><br />
</div><div>Okay, the last one doesn't make any sense in the context -- if anything, it implies I've been scarfing down more calories and have a small reserve between my chompers that I was saving for my four o'clock pig-out.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I've kept it a secret for a while. I suck in my gut in public and I wear "athletic cut" shirts that make me look slimmer than I am. But the bottom line is that I am a pig. A slop-swilling, pink-nosed, stink-making ham-in-waiting.<br />
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The last week hasn't helped matters, either. My sister was in town visiting for her spring break (it really is a great feeling knowing your 21-year-old sibling would rather spend a week with you than slamming down Pabst Blue Ribbons at a quarter a pop in Cancun with 22,691 of her most-distant friends0 and that has resulted in going out to eat far more than I'd like. I would like to send a special shout-out to m,y brother-in-law, who opted for Chinese food for his birthday dinner last Sunday, allowing me to bring the MSG content of my blood back up to unhealthy levels.<br />
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Of course, I share all this with you to announce that I am going on Diet Number nine-thirteen. Albert Einstein once declared the definition of insanity as, and I paraphrase, "doing the same thing over and over again expecting the result to change." That makes me quite insane at this point, so I don't have the highest of hopes.<br />
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However, the plan is to buy a mountain bike which I will, of course, not take off-road any time in the foreseeable future. I will ride the bike as often as time allows, which as of now means "every third blue moon or pink flying elephant, whichever comes last." And the meals need to change size and quantity, which hurts most of all. If you know me, you know my three favorite things are food, food and anything else that tastes good after the food has run out.<br />
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I need your help. I need you to encourage me and I need you to hold me accountable. I have actually considered fasting, which is like having God as a diet coach. Maybe that would work -- who knows?<br />
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So help a reforming slob lose weight today. I want two inches off my belly. No set time frame beyond "before Jesus comes back" but I think sometime this year would be nice.<br />
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Help!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-84508268441236024352011-03-01T11:19:00.000-05:002011-03-01T11:19:27.385-05:00Caffeine Speak: Dejadeja-VuvuI have a lot of words and phrases that I use to describe things through my eyes, and most of the time they need some (or a lot) of explanation. So, without further adieu, I give you Caffeine Speak #1.<br />
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<b>dejadeja-vuvu: n.</b> - The uneasy feeling that you've had deja-vu about a subject before.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-60313709323393257442011-02-25T08:32:00.001-05:002011-03-02T09:49:50.389-05:00Gloating to my northern family and friendsMost people know me as a very humble person. Sure, I have a lot of confidence in the few skills I have, but I try to acknowledge that it is God who developed that talent, not me. And, yes, there are the jokes about the "Famous Frazer Modesty" from time to time. But I'm not one to brag much.<br />
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Neener. Neener, neener.<br />
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[Sticks tongue out]<br />
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[Points and laughs]<br />
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Here's a shovel, people. Try to dig out from under that blanket of snow. Meanwhile, I will be enjoying these 70-degree days and <i>the first cherry blossoms of the year</i>! For anyone not paying attention, it is February 25th. There are still four more weeks of winter -- and, thanks to Punxutawney Phil, <i>only</i> four -- and I drove past about 20 blossoming trees during my commute this morning.<br />
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So enjoy the stiff, runny noses that come with time outside in the tundra, people. I, on the other hand, am going to enjoy some time outdoors.<br />
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If this rain ever stops.<br />
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If you will excuse me, I need to go find a way to get knocked down a few pegs.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-14571038999553121782011-02-24T13:59:00.002-05:002011-02-24T13:59:58.371-05:00New "Caffeine" Page PostedJust a quick note to let you know I have added the "Caffeine" page and will be posting the "Hot Sauce" page soon. Check it out!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7072596213562896677.post-71031108763088273452011-02-19T19:40:00.001-05:002011-02-19T19:40:47.336-05:00Coping with a loss...in sports<div><p>We are sitting at a Ruby Tuesday in Burlington, NC waiting for a table.  I needed to use the restroom when we got here and, to my unfortunate surprise, the tiles matched the <u>colors</u> of the Green Bay Packers perfectly.</p>
<p>So I squinted.</p>
<p>The darkness worked perfectly: through barely open eyes, the tiles looked black and gold rather than green and gold.</p>
<p>Most fans would be thrilled to lose the Super Bowl and root for the #2 team in the league.   Me?  I just find crazy ways to deal with not winning.</p>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02883988916064522486noreply@blogger.com1